0 Red Carpet Minute: White House Correspondents' Dinner: The "Uh Oh's"!!

Time for a Stylist Re-Hire...

In my last post, I talked about my "Best" and "OK" Dressed at last night's Washington DC-Hearts-Hollywood Correspondents' Dinner. There were some nicely dressed ladies in attendance, however, it's time for the "Uh Oh's"--Let's begin...

Lindsay Lohan: Miss Lindsay...gotta love her. She was a "Guest" of Fox New's Greta van Susteren (in other words, they payed for her First Class LA-Washington DC flight plus a very super duper suite in a five-star DC hotel). She was also there with her attorney, Shawn Holley. OK, now to the important stuff: what she wore. Lindsay wore a halter-neckline black duchesse satin gown. To be blunt: she was two minutes away from being a bridesmaid. 

First, duchesse satin is a difficult fabric to wear--especially if you have to sit in a limo for a while, then get up and do a red carpet. Therefore: wrinkles. The midriff is all wrinkled (from sitting down in the limo fall-out), and yes, there is the oh-so-unsightly "side boobage". In addition, it's always odd to place a seam right through the apex of the breast section. Also, what is up with the 10" hem marking on the gown? Is that the horsehair on the hem? Was it taken up? Is there a seam near the hem of the gown? I am confused. Lindsay: please help me!!

Alicia Keys in Diane von Furstenberg: Huney, I LOVE ya, but did you know you were going to a BLACK TIE event? Alicia looks as if she's attending a cocktail/shopping party at Macy's. Which is fine. But she's actually NOT attending a cocktail/shopping party at Macy's. This is a great dress for a "Girl's Night Out" in NYC, San Francisco, LA, etc. But for the White House Correspondents' Dinner...not so mucheyyy.

Martha Stewart in Marchesa: It's my "Fantasy Crazy Drunk Aunt from Boca!". Here's the positive: a tunic shift dress is a great style, especially for ladies who A) are not a size 0 and B) Ladies who are over 50. I do like the white color with gold detail. It's the fringe that then goes into "Laugh-In" mode and it looks TOO big for her. Look how low the armholes are? And I could pinch in about an inch on the double on the sides (sorry for the "Fashion Instructor Terminology").

 

Zooey Deschanel in Oscar de la Renta: I think Zooey is just the "Cat's Meow" (do people even say that in 2012?). And I admire an Oscar de la Renta ball gown, because in my past life I'd like to think I was one of them "Ladies Who Lunch" and wear Oscar de la Renta ball gowns!  However, there are two things wrong with this: First the top bustier section needs about about an inch more fabric added to the neckline; it's too teeny tiny. But more importantly, what is happening to that drooped hem?? This is UNACCEPTABLE. I'm sure it's a runway sample and it's made for the 5' 10" Fit Model (and Zooey is 5' 5")...however, you then need to alter it!!!

Sigourney Weaver: OK, here's the positive (yes, there is one!), on an 18-year model from Brazil, in a studio, standing there, in a "Look Book" photo shoot...I can see this black crepe back satin side-cowl draped gown--looking quite chic and directional. I can also see this on a "quirky" guest at a Paris Gallery Opening as well. But...on Sigourney Weaver, it looks a mess. It does NOTHING for her. You would think that a 6 foot tall actress who is so fabulous as Ms. Weaver is, could just about pull off anything. Not so much. Her hair and make up don't help. If she were to have skewed more directional or extreme with the entire look, it would have at least made a bit more sense.

But now, to the "GURL What Were You Thinking" Award of the Night:

Rosario Dawson in Armani Prive: I just about fell off my couch when I saw this (and not in a good way)...and then realized that she was wearing a $40,000+ Armani Prive Haute Couture hand-made gown. This is shameful. For all parties involved. It was an emerald green silk organza (with an iridescent finish) fitted gown with complex seaming, defined shoulders and yes...

There is THAT oh-too-plunging neckline. The bust section is WAAAY too tight. It was made for a girl (well, a model) who had a 32" bust circumference (the standard for runway models) and that is why Rosario's sisters are all out there. But it's not just that--the entire gown is way too tight. The entire abdomen area is rippling and pulling and those delicate seams are pulling...it just makes me cry knowing that this is a hand-made gown that took many, many hours to create and if Rosario had purchased, would cost a high 5-digit figure. And not to mention, she is such a beautiful actress, so this decision doesn't do her beauty justice. Rosario, next time: email me. Or have your stylist email me.